Originally published on Rooted.
Twenty-three years after the premiere of Naruto, a specially themed kids’ meal promotion has arrived at Burger King — packing an action figure gacha-game that stars seven fan-favorite characters, plus Konoha’s Number One Hyperactive, Knucklehead Ninja.
Like Naruto Uzumaki, and his fervent dream to become Hokage, I won’t quit until I’ve acquired every shinobi in the set. Dattebayo! Believe it. ➡️
🔗 Keep reading on Rooted.
Originally published on Slackjaw.
Following last year’s spiritual intervention, I’ve learned the joy in tolerating others — and preserved only this single vindictive tradition. Brace yourselves, warbling wastrels, because the ledger is open. ➡️
Originally published on Jane Austen’s Wastebasket.
As stewards of semiotics and custodians of the English language, we, the Coalition of Concerned Linguists, must convey our consternation regarding Dictionary.com’s decision to anoint “67” as Word of the Year. ➡️
Originally published on Robot Butt.
Completely unprompted and out of the charitable nature of our red, white, and blue-branded hearts, (certainly not a kneejerk reaction to a drastic slump in quarterly sales), Tylenol is excited to extend a heartfelt season’s greetings in the form of a new, limited-edition capsule that cures seasonal depression as surely as it does not cause autism: Pumpkin Spice Tylenol. ➡️
🔗 Keep reading on Medium, Substack, or Robot Butt.
