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1. Proper attire is strictly prohibited.

2. Shirts, socks, and shoes are required — though we invite patrons over 65 to enjoy the sauna fully naked, as Joe Gold of Gold’s Gym originally intended.

3. Please do not shower beforehand. Likewise, any cologne, deodorant, or body spray must be applied inside the steam room.

4. We ask that you use the facilities either completely alone or with your ten closest friends. There is no in-between.

5. Conversation should be kept to a maximum at all times. As a reminder, anyone asking “hot enough for ya?” is not inquiring about your comfort — they are posing a challenge. To refuse is to renounce your masculinity. Immediately respond with a negatory grunt, raised eyebrow, or “pshh, nah,” then crank the heat. ➡️

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