Check out the full piece at SOS: Satire or Something.

Instructions: Please sing along (alone in the bathroom at 3AM) to the tune of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

(Choke it down)

Every now and then

I get a little bit hungry

And there’s no veggies around

(Choke it down)

Every now and then

I get a little bit queasy

Guzzling nuggets, donuts, cronuts, and beer ➡️

🔗 Keep reading on SOS: Satire or Something.